The Master Food Critic Speaks

Well, I'm not really a master food critic... but I know what I like, and I know what I don't like. Last night I had something that was kinda rude.

So, I'm up at Big Louie's (surprise surprise) with my husband, and we decide to try these new Big Louie Bites off the appetizer menu. They're deep-fried steak bites. We've heard a few people say they're really good, so even though the thought of deep-frying perfectly good steak seemed like a tragedy to me, we ordered them. I was less than impressed with them, lemme tell ya.

Okay. First of all, they look disgusting. Like little dried cat turds. Second, the bites are super small, like not even a whole bite, not even for me. You cut a piece of meat that small and toss it in the deep fryer, and it's gonna come out less than tender. There were a couple nice-sized chunks, but most of them were these miniscule, rubbery fiascos. Third, we tried the teriyaki and ranch sauces for dipping. Take note of this: steak and ranch dressing are not a winning combination, no way no how. The teriyaki was okay, but left much to be desired.

I actually felt guilty eating them. My dad was a steak connoisseur, and I just know he was turning over in his grave last night while I was eating these crappy deep-fried steak bites. I mean, this was a man who believed that even salt and pepper destroys the flavor of a really good steak. A-1 and Heinz 57 were not allowed anywhere near the table on Steak Saturdays at our house, and you couldn't even say the word "ketchup" in the presence of the steak.

So, yeah... moral of the story: Big Louie Bites, well... they bite.