Why does cooking suck, you ask? Well, it sucks because, without fail, someone at my table will refuse to eat what I cook.
At least twice a month, as the fam sits down to eat, I hear "What IS this crap?" (This usually comes from one of the teenagers.)
At least once a week I hear, "I'm not eating this. It's gross."
At least twice a week I hear, "Why are you cooking THAT??? I hate that!"
Just last night, one of the teens goes, "Oh my god, what is that in the oven? It looks like a log of poop!" Yeah, it was a freakin' pork tenderloin. I would've thought it looked more like a phallus, but my family tends toward the fecal analogies whenever they can.
I am not a bad cook, just in case that's what you were thinking. The meals I cook are edible, and are usually quite tasty for at least 4 of the 6 people at the table. So, what is the deal???
I do not run a frickin' restaurant. I am not a short-order cook. I refuse to make 6 different entrees at one time. My mom used to say, "If you don't eat what I put on the table, then you don't eat." That tends to be my position, too.
Once, when my fam repeatedly refused to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, I stopped using the dishes and made them all eat off paper plates with plastic silverware for a whole summer. Maybe I should do the same with cooking. We'll just head up to White Castle every night for a crave case of sliders until they scream for mercy.
About Me
- Donna
- Minnesota, United States
- I'm a platinum blonde cougar with a wild sense of humor. I love reading good fiction, spending quality time with friends and family, and sleeping late. I kick ass in the kitchen. My turn-ons include candlelit dinners, foot massages and smartasses. My turn-offs include mullets, excessive body hair and idiots.
2 comments:
Great plan. Or, you could just fill the house with broccoli and make them cook their own supper, and clean up too.
I suffer from your problem, only with my family it's both picky children and allergies. We've got allergies/intolerances to peanuts, chicken, wheat, oats, dairy, and shellfish. Most of my family will not eat fruit or vegetables either. Try cooking around that. I used to love cooking and making up my own recipes. Now it's a bloody chore every day. It sux big time. I've almost given up. Go ahead kids, eat your stinkin potato chips for dinner. It's the only thing you all agree on!
Then I'll get a kid who decides they absoluetly love a certain food. So I'll lovingly cook their favorite food, and they suddenly decide they don't like it any more and won't eat it, then complain because they're hungry and don't know what to eat. I'll patiently point out several things in sevaral categories that they could eat, but they grudgingly refuse each one. That's when I go..."fine, I guess you're not starving, I've done all I can, so don't complain anymore or you'll sit in your room for the rest of the day you selfish little peon. Or I'll send you to Sudan or Honduras for a year and you can find out what hunger really is." I really do say that stuff, but I don't think I've ever called my kids peons.
Ah, but we SHOULD be the queens, and children and hubbies SHOULD be the peons. In a perfect world...
I'm glad you feel my pain. Misery loves company.
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