Weekend Getaway

Yesterday I got back from my own little three-night retreat.

I was originally going to go to a hermitage in St Francis for a few days of silence and solitude, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that this city girl could not conceivably spend three nights without electricity or running water. I went there for 24 hours last year, and I was afraid to go to the biffy all night because it was really, really dark outside and I saw a garter snake hangin' out by the steps. Go ahead and laugh.

Anyhow, I found out that, for the same price, I could go to a hotel with electricity, running water, a pool, cable, and free continental breakfast. So I booked it, and off I went with my hubby's blessing. Lemme tell ya, mentally I was already looooooong gone.

So the weekend was good and bad. Good because the only person I had to worry about for three days was ME. No schedules, no responsibilities, no distractions. I laid around in my jammies all day reading a couple good novels, surfed the Net without my teenagers hanging over my shoulder, slept as late as I wanted, took long, hot bubble baths without people walking in to pee, got to control the remote, and could hear myself think for a change. I only left my room to eat or to soak in the hot tub. It was so nice.

The bad part is that I realized that I am my own worst enemy. There's nothing like spending several days immersed in your own thought processes with no distractions to make you realize some disconcerting and difficult truths about who you really are. Saturday in particular was emotionally grueling as I forced myself to be honest about some things I would rather gloss over. Luckily, I have a dear friend who was willing to give me a reality check and keep me from totally punishing myself.

So now it's back to real life with some new perspective and at least a vague idea of the direction I need to go in order to be happy. Things are about to get interesting.