Friday, February 02, 2007

It's all over but the cryin'

Well friends, I'm not feeling too jovial or chatty these days. Nothing seems funny or interesting. Everything is just hard and exhausting.

Here's the deal: my marriage of nearly fifteen years is over. I am leaving my husband. Right now things are ugly, loud, hurtful, stressful, everything yucky you might imagine. I feel like I'm being beat up every single day. Sometimes every hour. Although he's never laid a hand on me, he knows right where to strike emotionally and mentally. Now that he's feeling hurt and furious, he's putting careful thought into ways to mess with my mind... even more thought than usual.

That's why I'm leaving. I'm so very tired of feeling unloved and disrespected, tired of feeling like a nothing, tired of feeling like a glorified maid/nanny/whore. I need to be free of this constant pain, both for my own sake and for the sake of my kids. I just need to get out and start over.

So I might not be posting much for a while, and if I do, it might just be a nasty vent instead of my usual observations.

There. Consider yourself warned.

1 comment:

Theresa said...

I've been thinking about you every day. I love you lots, and I totally support you and hope and pray that God will heal your heart, and that things will change for the better in your start over.

Since I don't see you very often, I selfishly hope to see new blog posts, but I totally understand if you don't wanna.