I was up at the bar the other night, and there was this one guy there. We've seen him up there occasionally over the years, and he always looks the same: late 50's/ early 60's, skinny, balding, with a white driving cap, and a vacant, slack-jawed look on his face. It is possible that that hat is hiding some kind of hideous brain surgery scar or something, because I've never seen him without it, and he always seems significantly addled. His facial expression never, ever changes. No matter if he's talking, drinking, surprised, pissed, whatever, his eyes are vacant and his mouth is hanging open. I saw him get pissed once, and he was yelling like a ventriloquist's dummy... no facial expression whatsoever.
I've seen him making out with his wife before, and I thought that was pretty yucky (ya know, with the slack jaw and all), but the other night I saw something even more disturbing.
Apparently, he was slowly saying something his wife didn't like, because she put her hand up to shut him up, and he frickin' started licking it. Even his own wife was grossed out. Then he did something that made me want to hurl and laugh hysterically at the same time. With the same blank look on his face, he lowers his face to her lap and starts licking. HOLY FRICKIN' CRAP. I guess he had pushed the envelope a little too far, because his wife almost shoved him off his chair. A fall wouldn't have been a good thing for him... I don't think he can afford to lose too many more brain cells. But if he had biffed it, I would've laughed anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment