Old people

So last night I was at an outdoor concert by myself. A friend of mine is in a band, so I went to this park to hear them play. I sat at a picnic table kind of away from other people, because other people kind of suck. Don't give me that "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet," crap. A stranger is someone who will bug me, or rape and kill me.

So there's this old man looking at me, and he comes over and sits down, totally uninvited, and starts chatting me up. I tried to be polite, but I was extremely annoyed. I was there to hear the music and see my friend, not to chit chat. Then I realized he was totally staring at my boobs. I started getting pissed. I lit up a smoke and was thinking about moving to another table, when he started coughing because of the smoke and got up and left. That was cool. So what did I do?

I chain smoked for the next hour and a half to keep him from coming back.

I must have permanent old person stink on me or something, because old people seem to gravitate toward me like a moon to a planet. They're always trying to chat me up in the grocery store, at church, on the street, EVERYWHERE.

I know I work with old people, and they don't annoy me as much at work because I'm supposed to take care of them, but I don't want to see anyone over the age of 65 from the time I punch out until I punch back in the next morning.

Old people smell funny, dress funny, and all little old ladies have the same blue hair set in the same blue style.