Question...

What is the deal with turning 40???? Why is this bothering me so very, very much????

Okay, it's not like it's tomorrow... I have a few months left... but the closer it gets, the more I hate the idea. 40 sounds so OLD.

A few of my 40-something girlfriends are trying to tell me that turning 40 is "freeing"... I say BULL. What the hell is freeing about getting that much closer to menopause, osteoporosis, whiskers sprouting from your chin, every nice curve you have heading south, people calling you "ma'am" in the grocery store, and ultimately senility and death????? What, I ask you????

Seriously... those of you (ladies only... I don't give a crap what the guys think) who are as close to 40 as I am, or have passed it, I really do want to hear your opinions on this subject. Those of you who are nowhere near 40, you can kiss my lily-white butt. I wish I were you.

I'm such a dork.

Okay, I am just the biggest baby on the planet.

Leaving my current job is going to be sooooo much harder than I thought! I'm even second-guessing my decision a little bit.

I mean, how many jobs does a person get in a lifetime where you really enjoy what you do, have fun with and care about your coworkers, and feel like you're really making a difference in people's lives???? Even with the pay hike, what if I don't like my new job? What if I don't like my coworkers? What if the residents and families bug the hell out of me? What if my new coworkers don't realize that poop is funny, and is too proper lunchtime conversation???????

Maybe I'm just freaked out about jumping into unknown waters. All the same, I can hardly talk to the staff or the residents this week without tearing up a little, sometimes out-and-out bawling. And if you know anything about me, you known how much I detest crying in front of people.

Maybe I'd feel better this morning if I went out for a little fresh air... which is funny, because I'll be chain-smoking, so the air won't really be all that fresh....