Stupid Neighbors

Okay, yeah... I have no business being up at this time of night, I know.

For the second or third time this week, my stupid downstairs neighbors are having a drunken gaming party.

They have buddies over, play their music super loud, sit out on their deck smoking shwag weed, etc until the wee hours of the morning. This time, they woke me up at 3AM.

Generally, on the off weeks, I'm not here enough for it to bother me. This week, though, I have my kids. The other night the crappy neighbors woke them up too. This is never a good thing, because overly-tired kids are hell on wheels the next day.

So I called the new caretaker and totally narc'd. I mean, how totally disrespectful.

"Quiet time" in the building is supposed to be from 10PM to 8AM. We're not supposed to run our garbage disposals/dishwashers between these hours, and we're supposed to keep our conversation and TV volume low. I get this, and I always abide by it, so it really pisses me off when my neighbors think they can do whatever the hell they want.

The other night, the male half of the duo downstairs was out on the deck getting a bake on around midnight. First of all, I could tell he was smoking crapass weed because it smelled like burning roadkill. Even better was the fact that he was on the phone trying to get his buddy to drop by for some "Mad Gaming." Um... yeah. The conversation went something like this: "Dude. Dude. Seriously, dude. I'm totally on level 18, dude. Dude. I'm not even shitting you, dude. 18. If you come over, dude, I'll smoke your ass. I'll totally get to level 20, dude. I'm not even kidding you, dude. I'm totally serious. Dude. Dude. Dude. Seriously... Duuuude." And this MENSA level conversation was punctuated with him choking on his shwag weed. Priceless. I laughed my ass off. And not polite, in-my-head laughing, either. I found this so comical that I even let the Horshack donkey bray fly a couple times. I felt like hanging over the railing and going, "Duuuuuuude. You're so smart. Seriously, dude. Level 18? Those are some mad gaming skills, dude. Maybe you can find a way to turn those mad skills into some cash so you can afford some better weed. Seriously, dude."

I've been in their apartment, because once I hade to go apologize for watering my plants on my deck while he was out there smoking a ciggie, and I guess I got his chair wet. They've got all kinds of animal heads mounted on their walls (I guess he's a hunter), and they have a couple pinball machines where most people would have dining room furniture, and there were two dart boards that I could see. I should've known right then that there would be loud, drunken, stupid parties.

Now, I am by no means a prude, and I have been known to party late into the night and early into the next morning from time to time. However, the par-tay they had before this one was on a Tuesday night. TUESDAY. Who parties and plays video games all night on a TUESDAY??? Don't these dumbasses have to work???

Anyhow, the new caretaker went down there and told them to shut up a little while ago, and they finally did. I'm quite sure they know it was me who narc'd, but I don't give a rat's ass. I would expect the same if I woke my neighbors up at 3AM.

Once I was having loud sex in the middle of the night, and the upstairs neighbors stomped on the floor, and we shut the hell up. Of course, it kinda ruined the mood, so we really had no choice, but STILL. At least I TRY to be a considerate neighbor. I mean, come on.

While I'm on the subject of neighbors, what's with the 20-something Asian dude who just moved in above me??? This freak paces CONSTANTLY, all day and all night. It sucks, because the floors are totally creaky. Maybe he's a crackhead. Or maybe he has OCD and can't sit down for two seconds. But he has to stop sometime, right? I mean, he's got to sleep sometime. At the very least, he's got to sit on the toilet to take a crap for a couple minutes here and there, right? I have yet to hear him stop pacing, and it's been two or three weeks. He's at it right now.

This is the only thing I have decided I really hate about apartment living: FRICKIN' NEIGHBORS.

Why can't everyone be more like ME???